AN EPISTLE TO ‘YOU’, ABDUR-RAZAQ ZAYNAB (IMPECCABLE LADY)
Dear You,
‘I’ve been through an odyssey,
yet there’s much for me to see.
You made me a treasure,
And made my being azure.
You’ve given me a key to any albatross
For whenever I faced a cross.
I have had transformations
For the benefit of generations.
You have spangled my repertoire
with teary eyes, I say Au revoir
Taking a step out and giving my long last look at you, my emporium of knowledge, the grief in me would let me down. My tear gland would dry up and my joints go separate. Questions which I would receive ‘yes’ to flashes through my head; am I truly leaving you? Are my days with you over?
As the clock ticks on, so I become weary of thinking. I am care worn. I wish I could turn the hands of the clock but that of course is a mere pathetic fallacy. With the days rolling away and everything becoming as transparent as water, I discover that nothing could be done. I am only left to think about our happy moments, sad moments, days when I felt the ground should open up and take me away. Then my heart became hollow and I knew it was ‘you’. But that is the will of God, the order of nature, whatever will be, will be (que sera sera). The wind whirls by me and my fear increases, absence makes the heart fonder, c’est lavie.
Standing in an open land, looking at the blue sky, imagining myself always being with you. Tears filled my eyes with a pot-pouring of emotions. I stared into space because reality has really dawned on me. The time is up, it’s final, time to go? I am bound for my final freedom, but I then ask myself that are you not my freedom? Because you made me myself, where I am going to is it not for a freedom for me? This makes it more supererogatory to say that I’m leaving you.
Adieu to you who made me what I am. If I had any quid pro quo, I would really have loved to do it. But no matter what, it is you inculcated in me what I am. Life dynamics and brevity affect our carte blanche but you’ve taught me not to be pusillanimous and I’m going to fight my battle to a cul de sac.
My cry turns into a queer, little but assuring smile. We would reach out to the stars and head to the top. In fact, we are heading to the top. Becoming outstanding from the rest of our peers. You nurtured and tutored our little heads to put a stop to the development of the underdevelopment of our future. For that, I must say, merci bouqui.
I remember those days, when I was eager to look back at your embracing gate and say au revoir, but as everything became transparent and the cloud dusted off my eyes, I would sometimes pray not to leave you. But life in its paradoxical order is always exchanged. Some leave for you, you leave for some.’ ‘Charity begins at home and mostly ends where it begins’. (Edison). Looking at the prorata you’ve done in our live, I would if time permits me continue to chant gracias to you.
With my heart heavy, I think of all the times you gave me. The time I laughed, the time I cried, the time I felt like a lone wanderer, you gave me another family. My history would never be complete without you because you are the major part of my existence. I was in pieces but you fixed me. I am happy that I am licensed to be part of you.
There in you, I felt renewed. You gave to me the best of mentors after my parents, whose words would always make me think, Mrs. Misturah Dawud. I swear that if not for someone like her, my pieces couldn’t even have made any meaning. She brought out the confidence in me through her motherly care and advice. To her I say, merci bouqui, hasta manana. Long fellow said that ‘some people were born great and others born to be great: I have heard of teachers in the world but take it that some teachers are for the class. But there is someone whose loss would be irreparable to me because never am I going to see any one like him. My salute goes to Mr Sulayman Abdus-Salam. My motivator and inspirer, who rekindled my light when it became bizarre. To him I say, nagode korai, God bless.
When the sun shines we would shine together, all I thought was that I would be here forever; but now it’s time to tell you bye. Your flag would be forever raised. You came like a sun in the sky and everyone feels your presence, you have cut the deepest mark in a rock and nothing would cleanse it off. You made me make my parents proud of me. And I know nothing can suffice the sacrifices they made on me. The only way I can repay you both back is by making the best out of what you’ve given me.
‘To you in You, It would pay a great deal for you to know the sort of ‘weird chrysanthemums’ you are liable to face outside, the outside world is horrible, it is an apocalypse. I remember what Eric Williams, the Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago at independence, told the youths during a rally. He said:
‘To your lovely hands the future of
this nation is kept. In your innocent
soul the progress of this nation is
enshrined. As you resume back to
school, remember that you carry
the FUTURE OF THIS NATION
IN YOUR SCHOOL BAG.’
Take everything they’ve given to you as priceless and invaluable. That is the best for you. I love you all and I would miss you all. Keep your hopes alive, lay for yourself a candid opinion about yourself. Place yourself where you would always love people, to see you. Keep the flag of your citadel flying. There is one constancy in life which is opportunity. Opportunity for change, opportunity for achievement before one’s final departure. Make the best use of whatever opportunity you have. Hakuna matata for whoever keeps to this. Be the never- say – die type and not the happy – go- lucky. When the tough gets going the going gets tough. What actually matters most is your ability to restrain yourself from whatever atrocity that is becoming prevalent in the contemporary world, by that you’ve proven that you are tough. Overlook the majority because ‘a useful majority is better than a useless minority’. Aim high and keep moving high.‘ ‘Meeting you all at the top.
Back to ‘You’, the world is looking for the trailblazers. You let us out to champion the course. I’m to put all you’ve given me into practical. The world’s catastrophe has really eaten deep into the roots. You gave us to her as messiahs. I wish to continue pouring out my emotions but words alone cannot express my gratitude. Let me save the rest before my fragile paper sets soiled up with tears. You’ve modified my life. And given it meaning. I’ve known what I want and I shall never disappoint you.
I feel like expressing all thanks and greetings in the world. Thank you, nagode, Ese, da-alu, merci bouqui, hasta manana, hakuna matata! With the greatest of all thanks I say JAZAKUMULLAHU KHAYRAN.
Yours in fulfillment,
Abdru-Razaq Zaynab (Impeccable Lady)